Today, I received a sms from my old friend. She is already married. She asked me about my well-being.
Suddenly she wrote:
I already miscarried my baby twice. Until now I still do not have children....
I don't have any answer, I don't know what to say. What is a feeling of a woman who has carried a baby insider her womb, suddenly God tests her. She didn't have any opportunity to see her baby's face.
God will tests us according to the level of our faith. He Wants to see how deep our acceptance is towards His decision.
When calamity comes, we will think deeply. Why did this happen? Why did God test me like this? What sins have I done? Doesn't He love me?
When calamities fall upon our shoulder, that's the moment which wakes us up. We realize that we can do whatever we want, we can make 100% preparation, in the end, God is the one who make the final decision.
When happiness comes to us, do we think deeply? We laugh, smile. We forget who gives us that happiness We forget....
Most of the time, we never think why Allah gives us that happiness. Why Allah bestows upon us that enjoyment.
Enjoyment, calamities, sadness, happiness, life, death ...... Anything which befalls on us is a test from Allah. Either we are patient or thankful.
وعن أبي يحيى صهيب بن سنان رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم "عجبا لأمر المؤمن إن أمره كله له خير، وليس ذلك لأحد إلا للمؤمن : إن أصابته سراء شكر فكان خيراً له، وإن أصابته ضراء صبر فكان خيراً له" ((رواه مسلم)).
The Messenger of Allah s.a.w said, "How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him". [Muslim].
To my friend, I don't have any answer for you. I am only able to advise you : Make du'a to Allah, be patient.
وَحَدَّثَنِي عَنْ مَالِكٍ، عَنْ رَبِيعَةَ بْنِ أَبِي عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، زَوْجِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ مَنْ أَصَابَتْهُ مُصِيبَةٌ فَقَالَ كَمَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ (إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ) اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي وَأَعْقِبْنِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا إِلَّا فَعَلَ اللَّهُ ذَلِكَ بِهِ قَالَتْ أُمُّ سَلَمَةَ فَلَمَّا تُوُفِّيَ أَبُو سَلَمَةَ قُلْتُ ذَلِكَ ثُمَّ قُلْتُ وَمَنْ خَيْرٌ مِنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ فَأَعْقَبَهَا اللَّهُ رَسُولَهُ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَتَزَوَّجَهَا
Umm Salama said, "When Abu Salama died I said that, and then I said, 'Who is better than Abu Salama?' " And then Allah left her the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and he married her. [Muwatta']
Giving an advice is easy. The most difficult part is to implement what we had advised to others.
When a calamity comes, we should be closer to Allah. don't let the problem drags us away from Allah. Increase our prayer to Him while we are prostrating to him in solah.
The definition of problem is different for each individual. People can misunderstand us easily. They will make their own judgement. When we share our problem with someone who does not understand, it will not help us to release the burden which is already in our heart. Someone whom we want to share our feeling could misinterprate it. His reaction is unpredictable. Someone whom we share what is inside our heart could neglect our feeling by saying "This is only a small matter, you are too childish...."
Due to that, only to Allah should we pour our feeling because He always Understands what is deeply inside our chest. Allah will never misunderstand what we want to share with Him.
Translation of hadeeth www.sunnah.com